A Catalogue of Malicious Life Advice
Need advice?
Monday, November 02, 2009
J: “Is it okay to email someone and be like, ‘your kid is cute, but I think they'd be happier if they weren't so fat?’”
DSP: “I don't see why not.”
J: “What if you're not really friends? Like you haven't seen them in 10 years?
DSP: “I think they would appreciate an objective appraisal of the most important and precious thing in their lives, yes.”
J: “All the more reason, right? I think nobody they know is telling them.”
DSP: “You're… you're just trying to get on the website, aren't you?”
DSP: “So my old old girlfriend from college emailed me some photos of herself. I’ve always said that all you need to know about someone you can tell from looking at their shoes. I looked at what she was wearing and felt instantly at peace about how our lives diverged.”
J: “I agree without question. ACCEPT!”
DSP: “And not in a mean way either; just… literally at peace about it all.”
J: “I wanna seeeeeee!”
J: “OH… terrible shoes.”
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