A Catalogue of Malicious Life Advice
Need advice?
Friday, November 21, 2008
DSP: “GOD this girl. How do you have a bodonkadonk like that but have such slim features elsewhere? I am amazed.”
S: “Some girls got it like that.”
DSP: “Like, thin arms and legs, pretty face, good boobs and then SHAZAAAM!”
S: “That sounds pretty damn good.”
DSP: “YES you should go eat there, all their hosts are hot.”
S: “How is the food? Or does it matter.”
DSP: “Good, Gourmet magazine just rated them as one of the top 10 seafood restaurants in America. I would've taken a picture but I was with a client.”
S: “Hahaha! You're like, ‘excuse me, Mr. Smith, can you just lean to the left a bit? I'm trying to get that ass in focus.’”
DSP: “God. I want to see her sit on a sheet cake…I want to see her DESTROY that cake…with great vengeance and furious anger…”
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
M: “I'm so out of it. I feel like there are a million things to do and I don't know where to start.”
DSP: “Nah. Relax. Put your feet up. It's like that old story about the ants and the grasshopper. You know, how the ants were these suckers who worked too much and the grasshopper just kicked back and enjoyed life. That's why there's a cocktail named after the grasshopper and not the ants—cus he was a fun guy!”