A Catalogue of Malicious Life Advice
Need advice?
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
DSP: -- (away msg) LA face with the Oakland booty --
COUSIN: “What is Oakland booty like?”
DSP: “When your waist is small and your curves are kickin'”
DSP: “I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE”
DSP: “YOU OTHER BROTHERS CAN'T DENY!!”
DSP: “I'm going to start playing "Baby Got BacK" in my office, non-stop, for the whole day”
DSP: “On repeat”
DSP: “If Xxxx comes by and tries to talk to me, I will sing along at the top of my lungs”
DSP: “And then I will make a gesture as if to say "I'm sorry I can't hear you talking over Sir Mix-A-Lot”
C: “Is that the same girl who liked you but was in a ‘bad place?’”
DSP: “Why yes it is. I am ignoring the crap out of her right now and she keeps trying to engage me in conversation.”
DSP: “THAT WHEN A GIRL WALKS IN WITH AN ITTY BITTY WAIST AND A ROUND THING IN YOUR FACE!!!”
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
DSP: “I don't like this pattern. She always says yes if I ask her out, but she's not initiating anything”
M: “What do you want her to do?”
DSP: “Tell me that she's crazy about me.”
DSP: “And anal.”