A Catalogue of Malicious Life Advice
Need advice?
Monday, April 16, 2007
DSP: “God, I keep eating the curry. It's a good thing I made 4 quarts of it.”
J: “You're gonna be sick.”
DSP: “Yes. I dated a girl in college who wouldn't go down on guys if they'd had Indian food recently. I thought that was vaguely racist.”
J: “Slut.”
DSP: “Eh?”
J: “When you care about what people have recently eaten, because you are gargling so much jizz that you're making rules about it, I would say you're a slut.”
DSP: “I think that's fair.”
J: “It also kind of sounds like she wants to be a cum connoisseur.”
DSP: “Speaking of which, I have to take someone to a dinner on Friday. Should I take Xxxx, the girl I work with, or Xxxxxx, my friend who just moved here because she's running away from an abusive relationship and has changed her name and is totally crazy.”
J: “But is she really crazy? Or just escaping crazy?”
DSP: “Eh, same difference. She has all sorts of problems. And I aim to be one of them.”
J: “You mean you're going to give her problems in bed?”
DSP: “That's the plan!”
J: “You should tell her that if she doesn't sleep with you, you will tell Xxxxxxx where she is.”
DSP: “OMG that is... brilliant.”
J: “Put together a package and say you sent it to me, and that if I don't talk to you for 3 days, I am supposed to mail it.”
DSP:
