A Catalogue of Malicious Life Advice
Need advice?
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Hello!
So I have this ex, and he's still super jealous of anyone I talk to and all that nonsense, and at his birthday party, I took home and proceeded to have sex with one of his very good friends.
Now, the issue here is not, should I care that jealous ex will freak if/when he finds out about my sexcapades with his friend. Instead, I'm concerned that jealous ex will freak at his friend if/when he finds out about our sexcapades?
I don't care so much if my ex decides to stop talking to me, but I'm having an issue with pursuing his friend and potentially becoming the catalyst to the demise of their friendship.
What do you think? Pursue the ex's friend and maybe end a friendship, or let it lie and find a boy somewhere else?
yours,
Overly Caring
Overly Caring
Dear overtly caring,
While Dark Side Points is touched and impressed by your “bros before hoes” attitude (exemplary in both your ability to empathise, as well as self-identify), we are reminded of something a wise man once said:
“Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one!” -H. Simpson
We're going to let you in on a little secret. Boys, with the exception of the gayest of the emo, practice a realpolitik that is unheard of in the female world. There is no hand wringing, no crying, no schoolgirl drama. Getting laid trumps all.
And, our junior high school fantasies on being forced into lovemaking aside, doing the worm is a team effort; it was his choice as much as yours to ride the skin bus to tuna town. So pass the buck and let him sort it out with his friend. If letting your ex's buddy plow you is enough to ruin their friendship, so be it.
There, we just gave you the Get-Out-Of-Guilt-Free card that you were looking for. So what if there's a million other guys out there waiting to get into your pants. The shiny one under glass that says “don't touch” is much better.
P.S., They'll make up after you dump him.