A Catalogue of Malicious Life Advice
Need advice?
Monday, February 26, 2007
K: “So I sorta wish I had a friend who worked from home who would be up for walks during lunch on the beach Do you think I could post ad on craigslist? Or would I get weirdos.”
DSP: “You would probably get a LOT of weirdos.”
K: “Even if I said female only? I might as well right? I don't have to write anyone back if they seem odd and they will only have my craigslist email.”
DSP: “No, you should totally do it. It'll be awesome.”
K: “Ok I guess I will do it.”
K: “Do you think I should specify female only? Or just say, I am not looking for a date.”
DSP: “I'm pretty sure the sub-rosa for activity partner postings is, lonely people trying to come up with a pretense for creating a romantic situation.”
K: “Oh god. I am not one of those lonely people posting for a friend.”
DSP: “That's exactly what you are.”
DSP: “Anyway, what I mean is, if you absolutely don't have romantic goals, the easiest way is to make sure you're hanging out with another girl. OR, you could just have an affair. And what, affair, you're not even married yet.”
K: “How's this:
I work from home in Xxxxxxx and would love to have a workout buddy to take power walks on the beach at lunch or after work. I'd be up for possibly jogging too -- any excuse to take a break from computer and stay fit.
Females preferred.
DSP: “Sounds pretty good But where it says ‘Females preferred’ you should write instead ‘Females preferred; men should send a recent photo and a brief bio, incl. annual salary.’”