A Catalogue of Malicious Life Advice
Need advice?
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
J: “I think someone at work has a crush on me.”
DSP: “You work?”
J: “[My boss] told me I wasn't allowed to sleep with him on his first day.”
DSP: “So do you like this guy?”
J: “We get along.”
DSP: “Does it even matter? You're going to snog him for about a week and then ignore him forever.”
J: “He's really cute, but I only work with like 5 people.”
DSP: “Who cares. You've never considered the consequences of your actions before, why start now?”
J: “[My friend] is trying to convince me it's a good idea, but she's crazy.”
DSP: “Whatevs. ‘Convince.’ You already know what you're going to do. We can't control who we snog. God if we could, we'd all be happily married by now.”
DSP: “Follow your heart and liiiiiiiiive! But yeah, dating coworkers is a really bad idea.”
J: “And you should know.”
DSP: “Yah srsly—Xxxx, Xxxxxx, Xxxx, parts of Xxxx.”
J: “Parts of Xxxx?”
DSP: “Yeah, just the interesting parts.”